Odd Couples
by sakako
Summary: Our first fanfic, designed to explore some of the pairings not usually explored. Rated T for suggestiveness, some language and adult themes. R&R please! Chapter 10 is up... please notify me if this story is degenerating, hahaha :P 1112 up soon
1. Introduction I

"Odd Couples"

by sakako and kenji

**KAGURA: YO GUYS, IF SAKAKO OR KENJI COME UP TO YOU AND TELL YOU THAT THEY OWN AZUMANGA DAIOH, DON'T BELIEVE THEM. TRUTH IS, THEY DON'T OWN SHIT! ALL THEY HAVE IS A WIDE RANGE OF MUSIC AND ANIME. **

**AD CHARACTERS: HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!**

**Introduction I**

It was another ordinary Wednesday in the lives of the Azumanga Daioh characters. Actually, it wasn't just another ordinary day. It was the day before the 3rd year Sports Fest and at Kagura's house, the alarm clock rang.

"Six o'clock? Already?" Kagura woke with a start, as she was wont to do. She quickly dressed into some loose-fitting clothes and went downstairs. "Hey mum, have you made breakfast yet?" She knew that her mother would have been up since five, as her job required her to be at the office by seven.

"Yes," said Kagura's mum, "it's leftover teppanyaki from last night. We need to get rid of it."

_Teppanyaki? For breakfast? I can't run on that!_ "Hey mum, do you mind if I made my own breakfast today? You know I need carbohydrates to run!"

"Alright dear, there's rice cakes in the cupboard. By the way, I'm going on a business trip this weekend, so I'm leaving the house to you. I've only got two rules: one, that you clean up _every_ mess, and two, if you have a party, don't get into my weed, ok? Booze is in the cellar. Okay, bye dear. Have a great time this weekend!" Her mother was cool about leaving Kagura the house, as usual.

"Okay, mum. You have a great time too." She watched her mother drive off in a white Ford Corolla and tried not to hurl when she remembered that the Yukarimobile was the same kind of car. She ate her breakfast quickly, and at six thirty she left the house for her daily 10km run to the Kichijoji district.

As she was returning home she decided to take a different route because she was sick of all the same house in a row, so she took a left into a different street rather than a right into Sakaki's. _What? I didn't expect to see Chihiro here! This must be her street… She said she lived near Sakaki!_

Chihiro waved to the newcomer while she opened the front door. "Hey! Kagura! Over here!" Kagura stopped running in front of her acquaintance's house.

"What are you doing out this early in the morning?"

"I'm just going out to pick my mail. What are you doing?" Chihiro's reply was calm, almost as if she had been expecting Kagura to come running down the street.

"Well, I'm going for my daily run, and I decided not to go past Sakaki's today, so I took this street. And I was surprised to see you up so early. By the way, I'm going to have a party this weekend at my place, you're in?" Kagura wanted this party to go well, so she had to be organised.

"Um, yeah sure, why not. I mean, it's not like we've got entrance exams or anything." Kagura blushed at this – she had totally forgotten about the entrance exam in one week!

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. But come on, what's one night? You get to hang out with the Knuckleheads!"

"Um… yeah okay, sounds fun. Do I need to bring anything?"

"Just yourself. And a fun attitude. There's going to be great music like Gackt, and I'm trying to get my dad to get Boøwy there playing live. He is extremely rich, you know." Kagura loved to brag about her dad, who was always abroad with his job as Executive Tour Manager for King Records.

"Sure! I'll be there."

As she ran off into the distance, and as Chihiro was wondering what time she should arrive, Kagura turned and shouted, "I'll pick you up at 8:30 on Saturday, OK?" And with that, she was gone.


	2. Chapter Ia: Helping for Sports Fest

"Odd Couples"

by sakako and kenji

**Chapter Ia "Helping for Sports Fest"**

Kagura arrived at school exhausted, and about five minutes late. She saw that students were beginning to convene on the tarmac, gathering together in their respective homeroom classes. She saw Yukari Tanizaki, her unconventional languages-cum-homeroom teacher, reclining against an oak tree, looking frustrated. Her expression changed into one of unadulterated fury when she saw Kagura approaching, head down.

"What the hell! You've been out running since 6 o'clock and you can't even make it to school on time? I'm well aware that you live about fifteen minutes away!"

"Er… sorry, miss Yukari…" Kagura muttered, despondent.

"Whatever, just wait over there with the rest of 'em."

Kagura saw her friends chatting amiably amongst themselves at the rear of the group. They greeted her en masse, and Chiyo-chan offered a place to sit. Kagura accepted gratefully.

"You look flushed! What happened?" enquired Yomi, concerned.

"I've been training since early this morning."

"Don't you ever take any breaks? I'm not sure whether to be impressed or worried…"

Kagura was unsure as to how she should reply, so she simply shrugged.

"Hey, Kaorin!"

She saw Chihiro rush towards their clique, beaming. Kaorin waved at her.

"Are you coming to Kagura's party?" asked Chihiro, coming to a halt.

"What? Party!" shouted Tomo, as though deeply offended. "You didn't tell us about any party!"

Kagura was totally taken aback by the tone in Tomo's voice, after all, she did have invitations in her satchel, which happened to be inside the classroom.

"Hey! Give me a break guys, I was going to give you the invitations later on today, when we were all together. I put my bag inside the classroom when I rushed there because I thought I was late, and totally forgot about the invitations. Sorry guys." Kagura looked sheepish, but soon brightened up. "By the way, would you like to come to my party? It starts at 8:45 on Saturday. Transport can be arranged."

The others looked at Kagura with suspicion.

"It's not _that_ kind of a party, is it Kagura?" Tomo's question was a valid one, but useless nevertheless.

"No, Tomo. This is a _party_ party, with boys and everything." Tomo's eyes lit up at the third last word.  
"_Boys?_ I'm in! Who's with me?"

The others mumbled a collective "I".

Tomo was curious, however, and she looked Kagura coyly in the eye. "That reminds me… _which_ boys were you intending to invite? In case you haven't noticed, it's not exactly like they play a huge role in our lives…"

"Uh… well…" Kagura strained to remember their names, as she had invited them arbitrarily "there was Ohyama from our class, Noboru, Yutaka and Takeshi from class 5, Akira from class 4 and some really hot guy from class 2."

"Some really hot guy? Who?" asked Chihiro.

"Uh… can't remember his name… I just saw him hanging out on the roof yesterday."

Yomi was now the one to be shocked. "But I was up on the roof yesterday! I don't think I saw anyone…" She struggled to remember her surroundings and then remembered something. "Wait… There was this guy holding a sakura blossom… I couldn't see his face…" then absent-mindedly added, "I wonder who it was for…"

Tomo shouted at Yomi: "Hey stupid! Who cares who it was for, it's yours if you want it! Just show up at the party on Saturday."

The rest of the posse stared blankly at the pair, when suddenly a megaphone squealed, and Miss Yukari's irritated drawl permeated the air.

"Alright you guys, listen up… There's only one rule today: you obey my orders, no questions asked! You got that?" There was a raucous groan. "I take that as a yes. Now – Ohyama's group…"

It was approaching midday, and everyone, especially the younger girls, was getting hot and sweaty from all the unpacking. Kagura suddenly shot up. She realised that someone was talking to her.

"…Kagura! Kagura! I need you to move this box for me, ok?" It was Yukari, who looked like she was about to pass out. "I'm pretty much screwed by this heat, I'm not a freakin' P.E. teacher!"

As Kagura was replying in the affirmative, Nyamo overheard Yukari's degenerative remark and promptly came over. Yukari face-faulted as Nyamo got the traditional red eyes of anger, and then she was knocked out by a single punch.

"That box needs to go to the faculty office, by the way."

Chihiro was taking a break at this time, and as she was leaning by the same oak tree Yukari was a few hours ago, she caught a glimpse of Kagura bending over to pick up the box. _Wow… I never knew someone could look that good._ She suddenly realised what she was thinking and removed all thoughts about her friend from her mind. Banging her head against the rough bark was the cure she needed, and when she turned back to face the students milling around on the tarmac, Kagura was nowhere to be found.

_I'm never going there again! _Kagura thought, as she went over what had just happened. _At least, not while Kimura's there._ Of course, she could take care of herself, but that was still no excuse for the perverted teacher's behaviour. She was well aware that a girl like herself could interest guys, just as she was well aware that they could not touch her. She came back out the door to find that the place was nearly ready. She asked her long-time rival and experimental friend Sakaki what there was left to do.

"Um… you can probably…" Sakaki's voice trailed off and Kagura decided not to ask her to remember anything important ever again.

"Okay, I'll do that." Kagura then heard Yukari shouting through the megaphone that it was time to go home, and she glimpsed Chihiro bowing to her classmates. _Wow… I never knew someone could look that good._ She knew what she was thinking, and thought to herself that she would make her move at the party.

* * *

Kenji's note: This chapter underwent a minor edit on 26/01/06. My apologies to those who noticed the mistakes. 


	3. Chapter Ib: The Party At Kagura's

**Chapter Ib "The Party At Kagura's"**

After the Sports Fest on Friday, Kagura went home to lay on her bed and think about the week gone, as she normally did. The one event that kept popping up in her mind was what she now dubbed "The Chihiro Awakening". She realised that what she had desired all of these years was not a good-looking guy but a good-looking girl. Someone like her black-haired friend, with small measurements but a huge personality. _I'm sure she's willing to experiment,_ Kagura thought,_ and I feel better when I'm with Sakaki than with a guy…_ She slowly stuck her hand through the elastic of her skirt, and felt the moistness growing. _Wow, I need to keep this!_ She hastily got out of her soaked panties and put on a close-fitting shirt and some short shorts. _Let's go say hello to our new friend, shall we?_ She thought this, and the flustered look on her face grew.

At the same time, Chihiro was also getting changed out of her sweaty school uniform, ready to fall asleep. _I wonder if what I thought today was completely wrong… But it feels so right… I know! I'll confess my newfound love to Kagura tomorrow at the party!_

She said this with a smile, and she fell asleep with her hand between her legs.

A few minutes later, she realised that someone was knocking on the door. In a groggy voice, she replied:

"Hello? I'll be down in a sec." She quickly put on a white t-shirt and a black knee-length skirt. She opened the door and was surprised to find her friend Kagura, with an abnormally red face, at the door. "Hi! Come right on in." _What the hell is she doing here? It's like the Twilight Zone!_ She started to make a pot of coffee, and then asked the more-than-obvious question. "So what brings you to my humble abode?"

Kagura's face went, if this was possible, even redder than it was before, but it wasn't an angry red. It was something… different. A side of Kagura that Chihiro had never seen.

"Um… well, let's just say I wanted to make sure everything was ready for tomorrow."

"Y…yeah, that should be fine…" said Chihiro, with a face the same tinge as Kagura's. "Need me to bring anything?"

"Just that beautiful body of yours, girl!" replied Kagura, and Chihiro _swore_ she saw her eyes trail up and down.

"Um… right. I'll see you tomorrow morning then. Wanna go shopping?"

"No, sorry. I said I'd hang out with the Knuckleheads tomorrow… We're going to crash Tomo's house! It's going to be awesome!" And with a flurry of paper, Kagura was gone.

That night, Chihiro was standing at her mirror for the second time that day, eyeing the sexy black dress she was wearing.

_She'll love this, even if she is straight…_ She brushed her hair and put on some cheap perfume, then went to the kitchen to fix something to eat. _I am so nervous… What if she rejects me? What if I can't even gather up the courage? …I really should stop asking myself. If it's fate, it's fate._

The doorbell rang and Chihiro rushed to the door. "Hey Kagura," she chirped, "we leaving now?"

"You look sexy, mate!" Kagura chuckled.

"Uh… Are you drunk?"

"Not enough not to notice you, Chi-kun."

_Whoa! I didn't expect her to come on that suddenly!_ Chihiro was amazed.

"Can we go now? The others will be waiting."

"Sure, babe." The pair joined hands and walked slowly to Kagura's ATV. Tomo, Osaka and the rest of the crew were all piled in, with Kaorin sitting in the same seat as Sakaki, her face bright red. "Oh, sorry, I forgot my car has only got six seats, so you'll have to pair up with someone."

Chihiro looked at the seats:

The driver's seat was empty, Kagura was moving towards it.

The front passenger seat was filled by the Sakaki/Kaorin pair.

The middle two seats were occupied by Chiyo and Osaka, who both said eagerly, "You can sit with me!"

The two seats at the back were taken by Yomi and Tomo, who were staring into each other's eyes deeply, with a red tinge beginning to grow under their eyes.

Chihiro walked over to the now closed driver's door and opened it.

"It looks like I have to sit with you, Kagura."

"Shuuuure! I always drive with cute things on my lap!" Saying this, Kagura gave Sakaki the Nekokaneko doll resting on her legs, and Chihiro blushed as she sat down on her more-than-close friend's lap.

The drive to the house was quick, and it seemed as though Kagura had somehow inherited the unique driving method of Miss Yukari. The passengers in the back four seats, with the exception of Tomo, all exited the car somewhat disgruntled, especially in the case of Chiyo, who had lost all colour from her face, and was mumbling:

"no… don't hit the tree Miss Yukari, watch out for the wall, you drive very well, urgh… don't hit the tree…"

Sakaki went over and comforted her, while the others walked to the front door of Kagura's house, Chihiro and Kagura still holding hands. Tomo, of course, was the first to find the alcohol, and she immediately started skulling as many bottles as was possible before she passed out. This number was one.

Kagura walked over to the prone form on the floor, shook her head and said, "That's the absinthe, idiot." She then turned to the others and suggested that they make themselves at home.

Suddenly Yomi realised something. "Hey Kagura," she asked.

"Yes?"

"Well, didn't you say there'd be boys here?"

Kagura face-faulted. "Oh shit! I totally forgot! Wait here guys, and make sure Chiyo gets a drink…" She smiled evilly, and soon the six remaining heard her ATV drive off.

Chihiro sat in Kagura's mother's La-Z-Boy, daydreaming, but at the same time scheming as to how she could make Kagura notice her, let alone sleep with her. She suddenly remembered an episode of _Midori no Hibi_ in which Shiori tries to get Seiji to notice her. _I know! I'll pretend to have passed out on the bed… Great!_

She walked up the stairs to what looked like Kagura's room. It was fairly big, with a double bed smack bang in the middle. Chihiro quickly walked to the bathroom, splashed some hot water on her face to mimic sweat, then lay down on the bed in a foetal position.

Meanwhile, Kagura came back through the door, with the seven boys she had promised. Yomi's eyes lit up when they caught the unnamed boy's. She walked over, greeted him and they walked into a corner together. The remaining boys went to mingle amongst the others.

But Kagura wasn't looking at the boys. She turned to Tomo, who had suddenly regained consciousness from the moment the boys entered the house, and queried her as to the whereabouts of Chihiro.

"Sure! She went up to your room, she must have been feeling sick!"

Kagura wondered how Tomo knew this as she walked up the stairs to the bedroom. She also remembered the episode of _Midori no Hibi_. She knew the score, and walked into the room with a smile on her face.

"All this, just for me?"

Chihiro 'awoke' from her position, and smiled back.

"No, for me. From the day before yesterday, I realised that…" She blushed, and the moment of truth came upon her. She blurted out, "That you have a really nice ass!"

Kagura laughed. "Well, you know something?"

"What?"

"I feel the same way about you too." Kagura leapt onto the bed and pulled Chihiro in close. "One sec." She teasingly pushed Chihiro away, and left the room briefly. She came back after a minute or so, to tell Chihiro that everyone who wasn't passed out was having a great time (namely the teetotaller Yomi) and that they wouldn't be disturbed. She brandished a bottle of champagne from behind her back and got two glasses from the cupboard beside her bed. "Here's to tonight!" She poured a glass and waited politely as Chihiro poured one.

"Here's to us!" they toasted after the first swig. They linked arms and drank the rest of their glasses, and Kagura kissed Chihiro passionately. "I think this could be the start of something really cool."

Chihiro nodded in agreement, and they undressed each other.


	4. Introduction II

**Introduction II**

It was another ordinary Friday in the lives of the Azumanga Daioh characters. Almost mind-numbingly ordinary, or so it was the case for Koyomi Mizuhara, a resourceful young woman with few concerns, or, for that matter, passions, in life. She careened out of her futon, her head numb and her thoughts nebulous. Hurriedly she pulled on her uniform, complete with her trademark leg warmers, while brooding on the day that lay ahead of her; a horrifically dreary affair which, unfortunately, she would be forced to confront. Automatically, she began packing her necessary "texts" into her satchel, and ambled downstairs for a quick bite to eat. Her quixotic step-brother, Koji, was reclining on the loungeroom sofa, skimming through an issue of Gravitation (she was rather bemused by his tastes). He acknowledged her with a hint of a smile, and then turned his attention back to Shuichi's melodrama. Koyomi poured herself a warm mug of coffee, drained it, then hurtled out of the house, waving nonchalantly at Koji as he shut the door behind her. As she ran in the general direction of the high school (the name eluded her), it occurred to her that perhaps it would be preferable to save her energy for her maniacal buddy, Tomo Takino, and so she decelerated, opting for a reposing amble.

Arriving at the school gate several minutes later, she was surprised when her good friend, Kaorin emerged from seemingly nowhere and approached her, beaming awkwardly.

"Kaorin… what's up?"

No response, only some neurotic fidgeting.

"…Uh… Kaorin? You ok?"

Yomi was, unofficially, Kaorin's confidant, and thus she was familiar with many of Kaorin's predicaments – particularly her infatuation with the calm, collected Sakaki, a topic that they discussed on an almost hourly basis. Her attitude today could indicate several things – perhaps she had finally mustered the audacity to "make a move" upon the imposing girl, and she had some final apprehensions to deal with; or perhaps she had already approached her and been rejected callously.

"Look, Kaorin… Is this about Sakaki?" Yomi asked, straining to conceal the impatience in her voice.

"N-no… Sakaki has nothing to do with this…"

Kaorin shuffled her feet.

"Ok then… what's the problem?"

Kaorin gazed at her for a few moments, and then she heard a familiar, effervescent clamor.

"Goddamn…"

Just before Tomo's satchel came into contact with Yomi's cheek, there was a succinct apology, and Kaorin coalesced into the raucous hoi polloi, unnoticed by all but one.

* * *

Kenji's note: This chapter is in its "primordial" form, and will possibly undergo a few revisions later. But it's only an introduction, so length isn't particularly important... right? 


	5. Chapter IIa: Change of Hearts

**Chapter IIA: Change Of Hearts**

_GRATUITOUS DISCLAIMER: Yeah… I Kenji certainly "amn't" in legal possession of Azumanga Daioh… and I am not associated with Kiyoshi Azuma. That was inherently obvious though… :)_

**Nothing to do with Airports**_  
_

The tarmac was teeming with life, as enthusiastic students in their PE uniforms convened in class groups. Somewhere in the midst of all this was Kaorin, a derelict, who had been exiled from Yukari's class at the end of the previous year. Following closely was an extremely irate Yomi, whose present state was due to the presence of a certain vivacious classmate – who, suffice to say, went by the name of Tomo Takino. Said girl tagged along behind her enraged companion, while Kaorin led, oblivious of the intense fury that emanated from the girl behind her.

"What the hell's this all about?" I don't actually hear you say? Well, basically, Yomi had concocted a plan after enduring Kaorin's rather dubious rant about Mr. Kimura (she was certain that Kaorin was concealing something; though that wasn't much of a surprise). It wasn't so much of a plan, more like an escape route – the idea was to have Kaorin "hide" in Yukari's class for as long as she could manage, then flee if Kimura approached. It was a rather shoddy arrangement on Yomi's part, but by her reckoning, all would go well. And, additionally, it would give her an opportunity to talk to Kaorin in private – provided that _certain_ boisterous bitch didn't get in the way.

* * *

**Interlude**

Chihiro and Kagura gazed, bemused, at the cacophony before them, and looked at each other.

"Here's an idea – how about we ditch the sports fest?" Kagura suggested, grinning furtively. Chihiro chuckled and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"You're already well aware of my answer. So… let's go!" Chihiro replied, seizing Kagura's left hand. The lovers eloped to a nearby park bench and, well…

"This story's only rated T!" screeched Kenji and Sakako in unison. Unfortunately, their cry fell on deaf ears.

* * *

**Long Middle Section**

"Looks like we've lost her." Kaorin mused. Yomi beamed with untold elation.

"I don't know what to say…" the taller girl burbled, and smirked with triumph.  
Somewhere in the hoi polloi, the pair ambled cautiously, wary of Kimura's discerning eyes. They had ridded themselves of one redundant lunatic, now they just had to avoid the potential company of another. Luckily, this wasn't too difficult, as Kimura seemed largely distracted by his "Sports Committee" duties.

Finally arriving at the Class 3's gathering spot, they both remembered one horrifying detail – Yukari Tanizaki was just as maniacal as Kimura, perhaps even more so. Her very presence was a guarantee that you would feel her wrath at some point during the day, or if not, perhaps she would encounter you on the street at night half-inebriated, looking for a verbal punching bag.

All their apprehensions were dispelled when they realized that Yukari was absent. An insipid male substitute took attendance, and then began conversing with Sakaki intently.

"Well, this is certainly a fortunate turn of events…" Yomi commented, noting that many of her classmates were sighing with relief and wiping sweat off their foreheads, grinning foolishly.

The sound of an eerily familiar technopop song wafted from the low budget speaker systems, and a raspy voice gave a rather incomprehensible announcement. Despite queries about the broadcast's actual content, most people presumed it was to designate the opening of the sports fest, and moved to the edge of the track. Kaorin and Yomi followed suite, keeping a sharp eye out for the persistent Miss Takino.

After a pithy screech from Mr. Kimura (aka the Executive Sports Committee Chairman… self-appointed) six competitors ambled onto the track, and then crouched down, each one determined to prevail. While all this was occurring, Yomi and Kaorin slipped away to a large vegetated area, near the school gate. Kaorin immediately hurled herself into the verdant meadow, chuckling raucously. Yomi merely watched, rather nonplussed.

"Kaorin… if you're trying to evade my earlier questions… _again_… it's not going to work. Sure, you can take your time about it – but you've piqued my curiosity to such an extent that I might not be so reasonable in a few minutes…"

Kaorin paused for a moment, then resumed her euphoric writhing, a sneer on her jovial countenance. Yomi's patience had all but evaporated (in a mere five seconds or so) and the bespectacled young woman proceeded to pounce on Kaorin's squirming form and deliver judgment.

Her assault was cut short when she burst into hysterical laughter, and slapped Kaorin on the back, rather uncharacteristically.

"Erm… what's so funny?" enquired her companion.

"To tell you the truth… hehe, I'm not too sure. I restrain myself half the time… hmm… well, basically, I just don't _cut loose _like that very often. It's a novel experience for me."

"Heh… You could almost say it was an impeccable depiction of Tomo's emotions 24 hours a day, 7 days per week."

"Haha! You're a comedian now? Rather atypical of you, Kaorin. Most people see you as another bland, competent student."

"And most people see you as an irritable cynic. With an occasional display of compassion."

Both girls chortled ridiculously at this kind of mediocre _humor_ for the next two hours or so, but I will not bother transcribing these dreadful puns (etc.) here.

* * *

**Some Time has Passed... or something**

_aka Sakaki becomes the protagonist for a few lines _

By now, both girls have collapsed with exhaustion – no wonder, those ludicrous jokes must have eradicated surplus of 5,000,000,000,000 brain cells. Out of the encircling copse came a tall, elegant figure strolled towards their halcyon bodies, and suppressed a small giggle. Yomi was, perhaps unconsciously, clutching Kaorin's body with baffling zeal, while Kaorin stroked the other girl's thigh. While she had originally come to wake them up (at Yukari's vehement request), Sakaki was compelled to leave them be, and she gazed at them for a few moments before raising herself to her feet. She sighed.

"Hmm… Cute…"

* * *

**Yomi's Realization does not occur in this chapter**

"Arrrgh!"  
Yomi awoke suddenly, almost sending Kaorin sprawling into a sandpit. Her companion glowered at her, half-jokingly.

"Looks like you've had a rough night…" she commented dryly, staring in the general direction of where the sports fest was probably occurring "…or rather, it seems we didn't sleep for as long as I thought…"

"Hm. Let's head back."

* * *

**Lonely Cheerleader...**

Almost 3 hours later, the exhilarating day was coming to an unremarkable conclusion. Cheerleading was, for no apparent reason, the last event, and Yomi, with some vague encouragement from her clique, chose to participate. Reluctantly she lined up outside the change room, and in a few minutes she emerged from the other side, looking incongruously gorgeous – a fact that she wasn't particularly proud of. Expecting her "pals" to lavish her with derogatory remarks, she was surprised when she found they were nowhere to be seen, with the exception of Kaorin, who was meandering around the tarmac, humming the bass riff from "Warning". The girl glanced at her, and then did a rapid double take.

"Yomi! Is that you?"

She approached with (some kind of) hesitation, beaming awkwardly. Yomi was concerned.

"It's not as awful as I think it is, is it?"

Her diminutive cohort shook her head, clearly embarrassed.

"No… Yomi… on the contrary, you look, er… rather pretty… or perhaps that's an understatement… uh…"

"What! Pretty!" her consternation was dissipated when she noticed Kaorin's expression. While it was somewhat incomprehensible, she judged by the way Kaorin's eyes were roaming that the girl had ulterior motives - which, unfortunately for Kaorin, were all too obvious. Yomi flushed a deep red, then moved slightly closer to her companion.  
"Uh… is something the matter?" Yomi asked, feigning ignorance. Kaorin simply emitted a series of ecstatic squeals, and wrapped her arms around her the taller girl, smothering her.

"What… the… hell!"

* * *

**Unrelated Occurence **

Kenji guffawed heartily somewhere nearby, and produced a laptop from hammerspace.

"Tomo's not gonna like this one…"

* * *

Kenji's note: much like the preceeding chapter, this is in its most primitive form. One thing I noticed in retrospect - it doesn't really relate to the second introduction at all... or perhaps it does... anyway, Expect revisions later! Another quick addition - this is my/our first time using partitions... I think... and subchapters... of sorts... I also included some narrative and formatting "amusement" and utilized "author avatars" (there's a "lingo" term for it, but I can't remember) akin to Sakako's Midori No Hibi fic. 

I have a tendency to refer to a thesaurus whenever I see repetition, or simply a phrase that I might want to condense, which results in rather dodgy writing... ah well

By the way, "Warning" is a song by the Japanese progressive rock band, Bi Kyo Ran.


	6. Chapter IIb: Smart Girl

**Chapter IIB: Smart Girl**

_GRATUITOUS DISCLAIMER: Hmm, his name was actually Kiyohiko Azuma… I discovered this vital fact after I purchased the first manga the other day… which, suffice to say, was a classic paradigm of Japanese culture… :D_

_

* * *

_

**Narration by Brad Pitt**

Yomi had been obstinately avoiding Kaorin after her irrational (and rather bizarre…) actions the previous week. While Kaorin was usually a vigilant thinker who considered the effects that her actions might have (though this 'mental strength' dissipated whenever Sakaki was around), that seemingly random display of affection clearly contradicted this. Perhaps Kaorin has mistaken Yomi, who was almost unrecognizable in her cheerleader get-up, for Sakaki; though this was incredibly unlikely, as even under extremely close scrutiny, Sakaki didn't even REMOTELY resemble Yomi – in any way whatsoever. Despite this, it was the only vaguely plausible explanation for Kaorin's maniacal deed that Yomi could conjure up; and it was her lack of imagination that brought her to Kagura's house that day. And that day was Tuesday.

**

* * *

Far Too Obvious… Kagura's House**

Yomi rapped lightly on the oaken front door, fully aware that Kagura was home (she could hear The Back Horn blaring from upstairs). When there was a faint shuffling and a coughing sound from inside the house, she put on her best pitiful "look" in preparation for Kagura's emergence; apparently, the athlete could read facial expressions extremely accurately (sources: Chiyo, Osaka). Her confidence was partially drained when an unfamiliar young man emerged from the door, lighting up a cigarette nonchalantly.

"Uh, hi... Who are you?" Yomi enquired, thinking that perhaps this was the wrong address (despite the fact that she'd been there at least 20 times prior).

"Hm. You're one of Kagura's friends? She's rather preoccupied at the moment, as it were." the man replied, in between frequent puffs.

"Preoccupied? As it were?"

"Heh, she's got a friend over, you could say. Her name was Chiharu, or something like that… or perhaps it was Sen…"

"Chihiro?"

"Hmm, yeah, probably. Anyway, I'll give her a call, hahaha…"

Without another word, the man hurried up the stairs at the far end of the foyer, leaving Yomi stranded on the doorstep, attempting to be patient. A few minutes later, Kagura and Chihiro staggered into the room, half-dressed and weary-eyed, followed by the young man, who winked mischievously at Yomi before hurling himself onto a leather sofa.

"Uh… Kagura? And Chihiro? What the hell have you guys been doing all day?"

The two girls instantly looked at their feet, blushing. Chihiro was the first to speak, in an indiscernible, pseudo-drunken slur.

"Well… we watching some anime earlier, then we played Final Fantasy VIII, and then…"

"Nevermind what happened then, hehe, yeah, well, we probably lost track of time and played FF for hours or something, hehe, heh…" Kagura burbled, motioning surreptitiously for Chihiro to get her things and depart - ASAP.

"Hmm. Do you mind if we talk? I've got something I need to get off my chest." Yomi asked, remaining composed.

"Talk? What'd you come to me for? I haven't done any serious talking in my entire life!"

The athlete quickly ushered Chihiro out, then invited Yomi to take a seat on one of the sofas, an invitation which Yomi gladly accepted (she had been working out intensively all day… Wonder why?).

"Look Yomi, I'll give it my best shot, but don't have any high expectations for this, alright?" Kagura called from the kitchen. Yomi simply nodded.

"By the way Kagura… who the hell was that guy who answered the door?"

"Haha, that would be Yoshida. Drummer for some local punk band I hear, he's a good friend of my brother's."

"Since when did you have a brother?"

Kagura returned to the room, carrying two mugs of brutally strong coffee.

"This'll wake me up, heh. Anyway - he's not around very often, you see. He generally spends most of his time spading with chicks from various high schools – and a few middle schools as well, haha. He's a bit queer I guess, but he leaves me alone, which is fine with me."

"Hmm, really? He looks a bit out of it, he's been lying motionless on that couch for the last 5 minutes."

"Haha, It's not just Yoshida, there's about thirty others sprawled around upstairs – half of 'em are probably drunk, just like him. The rest of them are jamming in the attic, last time I checked. Anyway Yomi," she took a loud sip of her coffee "what is it you want to talk to me about?"

"Well… it's about Kaorin."

"Kaorin? I barely know her!"

"Yeah, I know that, but according to Chiyo and Osaka… you're very good at interpretation."

"What the hell? Me? Like I said, I'll give it my best shot…"

"Don't stress too much over it."

"Haha, yeah, sorry. Anyway, what do you want me to interpret? Heh, feels kinda stupid saying that… like some dodgy clairvoyant or something…"

"Well, it was on Friday last week, you remember? The sports fest."

"Yeah. Of course."

"Hmm. Anyway, I had just changed into my cheerleader outfit, when Kaorin suddenly appears and tells me I look pretty. Then, apparently out of the blue, she leaps onto me, almost like an infant. I've never seen her act like that before – except perhaps around Sakaki."

"Hehe, I must admit, you didn't look too bad in that gear…"

Yomi grunted impatiently.

"Sorry. Anyway, it seems to me that Kaorin may have some kind of cheerleader fetish…"

"What!"

"…either that, or she's using you as a substitute, or perhaps permanent replacement, for Sakaki… but maybe that's reading way too much into it."

"I really doubt she would see me that way. Her love for Sakaki is indissoluble."

"Even so, she might be into polygamy…"

"Alright, that's enough!"

"Hahaha, sorry Yomi, calm down, I'm just having a laugh here…"

"Just try to think about it seriously…"

Suddenly there was a shifting sound, and an uncoordinated Yoshida got haphazardly to his feet.

"Heh, that situation's pretty interesting. I reckon this 'Kaorin' is interested in Yomi there – there's no other reasonable conclusion as far as I can see." he said coolly, tossing his empty pack of Winfield's on the floor (to Kagura's irritation).

"Like I said, she wouldn't see me that way." Yomi retorted arrogantly.

"Well, I've never seen a woman react to a feminine sign of affection in such a repellent manner, which suggests there was something about the 'hug' that you found unusual, and ultimately worrying. What I'd like to know is - what happened afterwards?"

"Uh… she ran off."

"Exactly. You may begin to grasp my point now, heh. There are a few other factors that need to be addressed though, I think. I'll start with the basics: how long have you two been friends? You, Yomi, and Kaorin, that is."

"Friends? Since the second year of middle school."

"Considering that you're both in your third year of high school, I think my theory may be correct… but there's still a few flaws. You say she was in love with some other woman?"

"Uh, yeah, that would be Sakaki."

There was a brief pause for thought, then Kagura made an abrupt conjecture: "Yomi, you've also been friends with Tomo for a while, haven't you?"

"Yeah… I don't need to tell you that again…"

"Well, what if Kaorin was afraid that you were 'involved' with Tomo, so decided to give up on you? And now, after 2 and a half years enamored with Sakaki, she has begun to regret her decision? She always was kinda shy, at least from my perspective."

"Hmm… she seems to be more open with me."

"Yeah, exactly. Oh, and Kagura, that was a nice assessment just now, heh."

"…thanks."

"Anyway, from my standpoint, I think Kagura should go and ask this Kaorin girl about it directly – a middleman, or woman, rather – and Yomi should, uh… I dunno."

"Well you could stay here if you like, until I get back. My brother's got a hell of a lot of anime and there's a few games lying about."

"You agreed to his plan without question? Ah well," Yomi sighed "I guess I'll go take a look at your brother's collection then…"

**

* * *

Kagura & Kaorin: Hard Talk**

Himura District, 2:16 - Kagura, who had been "assigned" to an intensive visitation of Kaorin's house, saw this as a great opportunity to train for the next swimming event (that has nothing to do with the story), which was the Tri-School Cup being held in late May (it is unclear in what month this story is set… hahaha). She started off with a light jog, then upped the amp a little bit for the final stretch, accompanied by the blaring guitars of Eastern Youth (piped in from her latest model dOpi:XTREMEDELTAKANNONsigned by Daisuke Asakura edition… also known as 'Some kind of mp3 player', popular in Lithuania).

She reached Kaorin's doorstep at least 10 minutes before Yoshida's predicted time (2:30; she left her own house at 2:15) and nearly kicked down the door, still caught up in the euphoria of her runner's high. A few moments later, a bemused Kaorin peered out of the doorway, brows furrowed.

"Kagura? What do you want!" the girl demanded ferociously (…despite her mood, she still motioned Kagura to come in).

"Whoa, what's with the welcoming? I just want to have a chat, that's all."

Kaorin looked unconvinced.

"You weren't sent here on anybody's behalf, were you? I'm not interested in talking to a messenger!"

"Calm down; I came here of my own accord, alright?"

"Hmm… I don't trust you at all, but I'll give you a chance. Come up to my room."

Kaorin led the way up a narrow flight of stairs, Kagura leaping awkwardly in her wake (the roof was rather low). Upon reaching the top they took a left down a short, lavish hallway, which was lined with caricatures of various politicians, then arrived at a rather insipid room – though it contained of some of the most clichéd fangirl items Kagura had ever laid eyes upon. She gazed, nonplussed, at Kaorin, who merely showed her a place to sit down (a nice plush loveseat, which was, Kagura presumed, ridiculously expensive) and began cleaning up the mess of mediocre shojo manga that littered the floor.

"So. Get on with it." Kaorin said flatly, after a few moments of silence.

"Oh, yeah, right… Well, I heard about this… thing… that happened on Friday."

Kaorin paused for a moment, it seemed she was apprehensive about incinerating issue 3 of Kamichu.

"And what was this 'thing'?"

"Well, uh… Someone said that you and Yomi were seen… together."

"Seen together? Doing what?"

"Nothing really…"

"Who told you?"

"Uh…"

Kaorin immediately stopped what she was doing and scowled.

"Listen, let me tell you something right now: whatever happened between me and Yomi on Friday has nothing to do with you at all. Something tells me Yomi asked you to come here – am I right?"

Kagura's intuition told her that Kaorin would snap viciously at any moment, so decided to tell the truth, for better or worse. Probably the latter.

"…Yes, you're right."

"To be frank, I'm extremely pissed that Yomi sent a messenger. Another thing that's irritating is that she told YOU, of all people. I bet you've spread it around, haven't you? The hottest gossip to tell your friends?"

"No! I haven't said anything!"

"Sure. Why the hell would I believe you? You lied to me a few seconds ago! Why don't you go back to Yomi's house, and tell her to come and see me _directly_. I didn't expect her to be this pathetic…"

"What are you saying?"

"Hurry up and get the hell out! I don't want to see you anymore!"

"Kaorin… can't we speak rationally about this?"

"That's enough, bitch! Get the hell out of here!"

Kagura suddenly tensed, her previously concerned expression morphing into an embodiment of unadulterated rage.

"You've stepped over the line."

"Fuck off," retorted Kaorin "you can't intimidate me."

"This is the only warning you get. After this, you can go to hell for all I care. I'm going now."

The enraged athlete gave a curt wave and then departed briskly, leaving a forlorn Kaorin lying hopelessly on her waterbed, with nothing left to do but grieve in regret.

**

* * *

Comedic Interlude… which probably won't work**

Chiyo-chichi, Irvine Kinneas and Eiri Yuki were in hot pursuit of a Russian Mafioso convoy when they realized they had crossed over into a completely different 'ficverse'. Or perhaps it was the same one, except with a different title.

"Odd Couples? Where on earth did this come from?" enquired Chiyo-chichi of Noohwan Innbarr-Tikura, a Korean-British-Japanese tour guide.

"Any room for shonen-ai?" asked Eiri.

"How about hetero? Damn, where's Selphie at a time like this?" asked Irvine.

"Oh shut up! Ask the bloody authors!"

Two deities suddenly emerged from a space-time fluctuation (which was created by a NEOTECH Inc. vortex powered by five 'thought-to-be-derelict' nuclear silos situated in over 3,000 undisclosed locations across Siberia) and greeted the trio (+ Noohwan) with a maniacal chortle.

"You invoked us?" asked the brown-haired lunatic, who went by the pseudonym of Kenji.

"I do not recall having summoned a pair of demons." muttered Chiyo-chichi.

"What was that? Oh, and by the way, this segment's over. Make your way back to Quite Possibly… etc. Good luck!"

**

* * *

Vengeance Ain't Yours – But It IS Mine**

Kagura stormed into her room and hurled her lithe frame onto her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Yomi reeled in shock, and hurriedly switched off the Playstation (the upbeat 'rhyme busting' of PaRappa the Rapper would _not _help the weeping girl). She climbed onto the bed beside her friend and attempted to console her, though she herself was extremely anxious.

"Um… Kagura… what just happened?" she asked quietly, stroking her friend's hair with the intention of soothing her.

"I've never seen her so angry…"

"Kaorin, you mean?"

"Yeah. I didn't think she had a side like that to her…"

"Well, she's very sensitive."

"Yeah… I know… but today she was furious."

"Why was she so mad? Do you know?"

"I don't know… she said that I was stupid, and that it was 'pathetic' to send a messenger…"

"She misinterpreted it, you weren't supposed to be a messenger."

"Yeah…. mmm… that's nice…"

Yomi noticed that Kagura's body was slowly beginning to relax, and beamed inwardly. Unconsciously her left hand drifted towards Kagura's thighs, which were exposed (she was wearing a skirt, unusual attire for an athlete, yes yes).

"Uh… what? Yomi…? Chihiro…?" the girl moaned. Suddenly Yomi realized what she was doing and made to withdraw her hand, but was compelled to go further.

"Ah… Chihiro… I thought… you'd left…"

It seemed that Kagura was on the verge of slumber, but Yomi wasn't complaining – she seized the initiative, her primitive desires coming to the fore. The now quivering, muscular form below her resembled Kaorin, but also Tomo, and this fact caused Yomi's disobedient hands to roam without discretion, as if completely independent of her. Soon Kagura's garments had been torn completely off, and were tossed negligently in a far corner. As Yomi reached for her bra straps, there was a gasp from the doorway.

"What the hell is this?"

It was Yoshida.

**

* * *

That's Black Gate (damnit… where the hell are the laughs?)**

Yomi ambled lethargically down the sidewalk, struggling to restrain the overwhelming despondency that consumed her conscience. She had only a vague notion of where she might be going – Kaorin's house. At first she had been hesitant, but after she remembered the loathing in Yoshida's eyes as he threw her out, she figured that there were few other place to go. Tomo had gone away for the weekend; she wasn't particularly close to Sakaki (though she did respect Sakaki's uncanny concentration ability, which meant she was a good listener for 'sop stories'); Chihiro was too frivolous; Chiyo was too immature; Yukari and Osaka weren't even worth considering and her parents would simply ignore her. Her only options were Nyamo and Kaorin, but she opted for the latter, both because it was closer and because she needed to resolve the situation – desperately.

**

* * *

Yomi+Kaorin/Wish Matrix (this ain't no comedy club)**

"Alright. What do you want." came Kaorin's impassive voice over the intercom, after she had refused to open the door.

"All I want is to settle this mess." Yomi replied nervously.

"You've rephrased that a hundred times. Elaborate."

"…Well…" Yomi mustered her confidence – this was only a rung down from a life or death situation.

"Well? I'm not feeling patient today, so hurry it up."

"…Well, I'm fully aware that sending a 'errand boy' is not exactly the best method, and it usually has negative results, but at the time I wasn't thinking about the present – I was mulling over that hug you gave me on Friday, like I had been doing for hours before that. I would've have expected it to turn out how it did, but I didn't contemplate the consequences at all, and I guess… I'm sorry for that. I should have intervened and come here myself – in fact, I should have talked to you about it on Friday, but I was so puzzled and worried by what you did that I couldn't bring myself to face you."  
"That's pretty clichéd isn't it?"

"I don't watch TV very much, I wouldn't know. I thought it was obvious, but I guess I should make this clear – this isn't some lame excuse, I'm speaking as truthfully as possible here – 'from the heart' if you like."

"I can see that. Well, listen; I've decided I'll let you in. My room's upstairs, left, last right."

Yomi noted that Kaorin's voice cracked slightly on the last few words. She wondered distantly what this might mean, and then the door opened.

**

* * *

Yomi+Kaorin/Sleepless Beauty (Chris Rock hour)**

Immediately upon sight, the two women embraced each other.

"Yomi."

"Kaorin."

Both names were mumbled in unison, as if it were some sort of two-part mantra. Then, as if nothing had happened, they parted, and lay on the waterbed, wearing pokerfaced expressions.

"You know, this whole thing was way too melodramatic." Kaorin commented.

"Yeah."

* * *

**Who Knows What Happened In The Last Segment? I do! Haha!**

On Sunday, 11:00 AM, Yomi awoke in her own bed, after an intense nocturnal discussion with Kaorin, which lasted until 3. Eventually it was concluded that they could not be together – despite the naïve emotions that had arisen within both of them over the course of Friday and Saturday. Both girls were somewhat ashamed - Yomi had fretted over a simple gesture of openness; while Kaorin had fretted about what effect her actions might have had on Yomi. Later, Kaorin divulged that she still loved Sakaki deeply, and clarified that it wasn't just a foolish obsession – she actually had a plan to progress their relationship. Yomi felt rather miserable at the time, but now she was rather indifferent – though she was proud of her friend for finally taking a proactive stance towards the 'Sakaki situation'. As she heard the familiar melody of Iceman's "Beauty Site" emanating from her clock radio, she chortled. Everything that had happened was exactly like a second-rate television drama, or some hackneyed anime – but ah well, she figured; _It's just another case of life imitating art._

_

* * *

_**Can You Feed That Hybrid Rainbow? No, can't you read the sign!**

Kenji sighed irately, and reluctantly tossed the manuscript for "_Odd Couples Pt II: Problematic Pairings_" into the unfathomable depths of Gate.

"I guess my fantasies of Nyamo/Chiyo and Sakaki/Illapalazzo will never be fulfilled…"

"Since when was Illapalazzo an Azumanga character?" Sakako asked, disgusted.

"Um… character? We're talking about real people aren't we?"

Hahaha. Did you get that?

* * *

Kenji's note: This is COMPLETELY different from how I originally planned it... Jeez, it's so radically different it almost feels like I'm telling a different story, but ah well. I'm proud of this chapter. :)  
I noticed that some of the characters have completely different mannerisms this time around. Ah well, perhaps it's just one of those days. 

By the way, Yoshida is based on Yoshida Tatsuya, the drummer for the Japanese metal-progrock-avantgarde band, **Ruins**. A few other references; **The Back Horn** are a Japanese alt-rock band, you probably know them; **Daisuke Asakura** is a renowned producer, who was also a member of pop groups **Iceman** (my personal faves), **Access**, **T.M. Revolution** and **Mad Soldiers**; the "Vengeance" chapter is a reference to the **Shohei Imamura** film entitled _Vengeance Is Mine_; _That's Black Gate_ is a song by **Iceman**; _Wish Matrix_ is also a song by **Iceman**; _Beauty Site_ is (obviously) another song by **Iceman**; and finally, the last segment refers to a song by **the pillows**, called... yes, it's _Hybrid Rainbow_. I put all the names in bold so **you **can go look them up! Have fun!


	7. Introduction III

**Introduction III**

* * *

Gratituous Disclaimer: We don't own Azumanga Daioh... or do we?

* * *

**A Conch Suggestion**

"Well, what are we going to do for fun today?" Tomo's voice rang out like the school bell had 5 minutes ago.

"I guess… we could go swimming…?"

"Well, that would be good, except that school's only just started, Tomo, and you should know better than that, Sakaki." Yomi, as usual, didn't want to have anything to do with breaking the rules. She had eaten nothing but a dry piece of toast that morning, but she was still worried about the state of her mass.

Suddenly, Sakako interrupted: "But, this chapter isn't about Yomi, so let's move on."

**English Class… Yukari Style**

Sakaki put up her hand. "I know the answer, Miss Yukari."

Yukari waved hers in reply. "Sakaki, if you're going to talk about cats again, then I'm going to have to give you a running detention. With Nyamo." At this remark, she grinned evilly.

"Well, the answer has to do with a computer game called 'Zero Wing'. There is a character in it called C.A.T.S. or CATS for short, and-"

"Sakaki, you just don't get it, do you? The question was actually 'two plus two equals what?' So, once again, you have failed to answer the question correctly. You have to do the running detention with Tomo, as she has a permanent one. Just one lap of the track, girls. Have fun!"

Almost as if on cue, the bell rang for lunch and the two aforementioned girls left the room.

* * *

**Running Detention… Nyamo Style**

The two girls completed their detention successfully, Nyamo ticked their cards, and the two went to join the others on the roof for lunch.

* * *

**The Roof… The Roof**

"So, Tomo," the tall girl said, as the pair of girls walked up the stairs, "What do you think of the track?"

"Track?" Thinking she meant the track of hair running down Sakaki's back, she replied, "It's quite long."

"Well, it's only four hundred metres, the hard part is getting changed. Even though I requested an extra-large shirt, I still have trouble getting into it."

Tomo was taken aback, both at the fact that she had incorrectly answered yet _another_ question, and at the fact that Sakaki was making note of her large breast size. "What? So… you do have large breasts… I like someone who isn't afraid to admit that…" Although, secretly, she wished she could at least see what it would be like to be one of 'Sakaki's type', so she tried to play along, but the door to the roof opened and the gi sat down to lunch.

* * *

(Sakako)Damn. I'm sorry this chapter was so short. I was in one of those moods where I had to post something and so I quickly finished this, and posted it. Not much to it, really. I promise the next one will be a lot longer. Thanks for all the reviews through this time of need. I hope you guys will continue to support our interesting writing styles. 


	8. Chapter IIIa: Psycho, Pt I

**Chapter IIIa: Psycho, Pt. I**

_by Sakako_**  
**

**

* * *

Awareness Factor: Zero**

After the school bell had rang for the sixth time that day, Tomo once again asked: "Well, what are we going to do for fun today?"

Again Sakaki replied, "I think we should go to the pool. It is surprisingly hot today."

Tomo was simmering in her own devices. _Today, it's going to happen. Today, it's going to happen. I'm gonna beat Sakaki at sports!_

Kenji shouted through a megaphone: "You can't inside reference here!"

Tomo started boiling. _Damn! Well, it's still going to happen. I'm gonna beat her!_

Kagura rushed off to the pool, and called, "Beat this!"

**

* * *

Spectator Of A Sole**

This was Tomo's dream. She always wanted to beat Sakaki, and this was her chance! Even before they reached the tiled change rooms, Tomo was already cheering for herself. She ran far ahead of the walking group, which encompassed Sakaki, Yomi, Osaka and Chiyo (Kaorin and Chihiro had gone off somewhere else), and got changed before anyone else came into the changerooms.

Sakaki walked in to the change room first, and was greeted by a grinning Tomo, who ran to the door and locked it before the rest of the group could come in.

"You know… you and I… we… uh…"

Sakaki was stunned. "Tomo, what are you doing? I'm sure the others would like to get changed in here, too… No cats to bite them in here…" She raised her right hand to her mouth and sucked her finger as if it were bleeding, and with her left she unlocked the door. It burst open almost immediately.

Yomi was a bit suss at this, and inquired of Tomo, "Hey, what the hell are you guys playing at… Not that I suspect anything, of course!" She blushed, and wished that she hadn't said anything at all.

All the time that the other girls were getting changed, under the guise of waiting for her friends, Tomo was watching that single girl with the flowing hair. The girl who was in Kagura's group. The girl named Sakaki.

**

* * *

Battling At Life**

The girls walked out of the change rooms, to find Kagura sitting on a deckchair somewhere a ways past the deep end of the pool, reading a manga comic.

Yomi called out. "Hey, Kagura! Whatcha reading?"

"It's really rare, some cloaked guys gave it to me when I was running down the hallway. It's called 'The Next Adventures of Sakako and Kenji', it's 700 pages long and apparently it's out of print."

"I heard about that manga! There was only one copy ever made, and if you try and photocopy it, pictures of mysterious cloaked figures come out of the photocopier, and if you open the lid…" Yomi tilted her face upwards to create an eerie shadow. "The book is gone!"

Kagura laughed. "Anyway, it's the most popular manga in Japan right now. You guys have fun!"

Tomo dived right into the pool, and somehow started drowning.

Sakaki looked around. "Uh… Nyamo? Yukari? KAGURA!" She realised she had to do something herself. After jumping into the metre-deep water, she pulled Tomo out with godspeed. She really didn't want to do this, so she called out again. "Does anyone here know how to do CPR?" After getting no reply, and seeing Kagura's faced buried in _The Next Adventures of Sakako and Kenji_, she pinched Tomo's nose, and lowered her mouth.

**

* * *

In Short…**

Sakaki blushed. Tomo spluttered. Yomi gasped. Osaka pondered. Chiyo blinked. Kagura read. Nyamo and Yukari came back from their afternoon piss-up with red faces.

**

* * *

A Detailed Version Of The Above**

Sakako and Kenji apologised. "Sorry, but this feature is not currently available."

**

* * *

Realisation**

Tomo, for one, awoke with a surprised look on her face. "Did Sakaki ever get into the pool? Did I win? That was a nice dream…" Suddenly, she realised what had just occurred. "Sakaki?" _Her lips… feel… _

Sakaki, being able to see, pulled back from the now conscious girl. "Did I just do that? Did she really drown? That was a strange thing to happen…" Suddenly, she realised what had just occurred. "Tomo?" _Her lips… feel…_

Yomi, seeing her lifelong friend like that, glared at Sakaki. "Did she just do that? Did she make that pass at my girl? That bitch!" Suddenly, she realised what had just occurred. "Sakaki!" _I'll kill her…_

Osaka, wondering as usual, stared at completely nothing in particular. "Doesn't that cloud look like a cat? Doesn't the sun blind my eyes? What interesting questions…" Suddenly, she realised what had just occurred. "Clouds?" _Wonderful creatures…_

Chiyo, being small and inexperienced, looked at the pair and wondered what was going on. "What are they doing? Is it right? I wonder…" Suddenly, she realised what had just occurred. "CPR?" _Hmm…_

Kagura, pausing from her reading, looked up. "Hm? What just happened? Tomo, Sakaki…" Suddenly, she realised what had just occurred. "Shojou-ai?" _Damn. Sakaki's mine. Ah well. Back to reading…_

Yukari and Nyamo, of course, were too pissed to notice anything. Or care. "Having fun, girls?"

**

* * *

Some Kind Of… S&A?**

Sakako complained when he found out the chapter wasn't finished. "Screw this guys, I'm going home." Kenji quickly followed, after muttering about some blatantly obvious canon reference. Something like that.

* * *

Kenji's note: I had nothing to do with this:P

By the way, listen to some Eastern Youth!


	9. Chapter IIIb: Psycho, Pt II

**Chapter IIIb: Psycho, Pt. II**

* * *

**Reasons for Love**

Yukari surveyed the scene in front of her as though she was off her face. Kenji shouted: "Damn! Why are you doing something like this? Sakako wrote that already! Damn!" He quickly vanished from sight.

Meanwhile, Tomo had recovered from her panic attack, and both she and Sakaki were sitting by the sided of the pool in their bikinis, Kagura was up to page 201 of her extremely popular manga (which somehow no-one else could care less about). They stared at each other while sipping their bottled piña coladas, which they had gotten Yukari to buy for them while she was down at the local.

"So… Tomo…"

Sakaki seemed distant. More distant than usual, in fact. Her eyes had glazed over, and although she was tanned, she looked more red than brown at the current moment.

"Sakaki… I just want to… thanks for saving me… I don't know how to thank you… But maybe… if we put our heads together… We can think of something."

Tomo, equally fazed, not her natural self, tried not to blush from looking at her now fairly intimate friend, however she failed miserably. Pink started to form a line under her eyes and over the bridge of her nose.

The two girls finished their drinks quickly and walked out of the pool area.

"I wonder where they're going?" Chiyo looked at Osaka, who didn't seem like the right person to ask.

Thinking she meant the clouds, Osaka gave a slow reply: "Probably to the other side of Japan…" Chiyo was stunned.

"What? What's over the other side of Japan?"

"A magical place, where they will unite into one…"

Chiyo didn't understand. "Are you suggesting something by that? What are the connotations?"

Osaka still didn't understand the question. "They will join into one body when they reach that place."

At that moment, Kagura finished reading, and the cloaked figures retrieved the weighty tome. On passing the two conversationalists, one of them mentioned the fact that clouds actually can dissipate into rain, thus never reaching that space. They both chuckled and left the area, almost following Sakaki and Tomo, who had joined hands.

* * *

**Tomomanga Daioh**

Sakaki and Tomo walked straight past the black cat sitting on the wall outside Tomo's house (which was quite big, Sakaki thought) and opened the doors. What Sakaki then saw was a single chamber, which seemed to expand into infinity.

"Welcome to my house! The stuff is all at the other end." Tomo made sure the room and Sakaki were acquainted, then proceeded to walk to the other end, where there seemed to be a number of objects. Sakaki walked towards them, and noticed that the entire contents of Tomo's house were held at the far end of this… _room_, she thought. There was a huge bed, a kitchen bench with an oven and a fridge, a cupboard (presumably full of food), a shower/bath complex and a TV with quite an impressive collection of anime. Two cloaked figures sat on the futon in front of the TV, watching something called _Azumanga Daioh_. Sakaki swore she could have heard her name, but she put it to blood loss hallucinations. The two figures chuckled, muttered something about "that bloody cat", and left the house.

"So… You live alone then…" Sakaki mused.

"Well, it's me, but because Yomi's parents are always fighting, she's usually here nights from about 12. That should give us about nine hours. What do you want me to do?"

Sakaki was probably the only one who didn't understand the connotation, and so she looked blankly and said, "I don't understand."

Tomo moved closer to Sakaki, and sensually moved her hands down the small of her back. "I want to make you happy, Sakaki. It's something I've always wanted to do, ever since I found you." She laid her head on Sakaki's shoulder, and whispered in her ear. "It's something that I share with a few others… It's just that… I'm not really into guys, you know? So… I want to…"

Sakaki placed her arm around the energetic girl's shoulders, looked her square in the eye and said sombrely, "Tomo."

After both of them were laid on the bed, Tomo looked at the taller girl and said just as soulfully, "Sakaki."

* * *

**Yomi Drops In**

Nine hours later, Sakaki and Tomo (having doffed their clothes) laid curled up on the futon in front of the TV, both asleep. The soft sounds of the_ Kare Kano_ soundtrack arose from the 6-stack CD player beside the TV. A window opened somewhere, and a girl wearing glasses entered quietly, calling: "Tomo, babe… I'm cold."

As she approached, she noticed a soft glow shining onto the futon, coming from the TV. She noticed her friend from school, Sakaki, lying there, completely open for all to see. She shed a tear, and ran out the front door. The two girls slept on.

* * *

**Yotsuba…er… Yomi and Authors**

After bursting through the door to the house where Sakako and Kenji lived, Yomi was quickly shot down by the plasma cannons mounted on the ceiling. She was returned safely to her own house, where she recovered fully, and all memories of this incident (and of her relationship with Tomo) could not be recovered.

* * *

(Sakako's note: Sorry this chapter took so long, I've been quite preoccupied with watching _Captain Herlock_ and a few other things… By the way, the reason that Yomi was shot down is because she didn't get an appointment to see us. She's important to the epilogue, so I can't kill her off yet. By the way, keep your eye out for a GTO fanfiction, _Great Driver Onizuka_, a spinoff from the time when he took up a job as a truck driver. Enjoy ) 


	10. Introduction IV

**Introduction IV**

_GRATUITOUS DISCLAIMER: I see the angel of truth…huh?_

_

* * *

_**Intro**

It was another ordinary Wednesday in the lives of the Azumanga Daioh characters. Where have I heard that one before?

(Probably in a Nietzsche novel.)

* * *

**Body Text**

Kaorin, Sakaki, Chiyo and Osaka were seated at the rear end of the cafeteria; the backwoods if you like, as the tables opposite and adjacent to them were occupied by the less _refined _pupils of their unidentified school. Communication between the 'members' of this 'quartet' was deficient on this particular day; an ominous mood permeated through the air, as if the very particles that constituted the atmosphere were enraged – though it was probably more due to the fact that every time they began a conversation, a nearby posse would glower violently at them en masse. Because of this, they had to entertain themselves in other ways; Osaka had opted for an inattentive gaze-out-the-window, Chiyo was engaged in an issue of 'Eternal Sabbath', Sakaki was contemplating the amulet she had received via 'love letter' (which was engraved with the Nekoconeko insignia), and Kaorin was merely making an inconspicuous attempt to reach a higher echelon of intimacy with the graceful girl – which Sakaki was wholly oblivious to. Of course, this segment has absolutely nothing to do with either Sakaki or Kaorin (or does it?), but Kagura and Chihiro are on vacation (at a clandestine retreat near a certain mountain in Wyoming, USA), and Yomi and Tomo have… disappeared…

"Hey, do you think we should… go up on the roof… Miss S-Sakaki?"

Kaorin originally intended to propose this to the entire group, but luckily for her the noise level in the room had exceeded 60 decibels (or something like that, yeah…), and only Sakaki would be able to 'decipher' her 'encrypted message' (well, it _did _have implications, but it wasn't exactly Morse code… though with Sakaki, you can't be too sure…).

"Uh… sure."

Both girls began heading towards the exit, when Sakaki suddenly halted.

"Miss S-Sakaki? Is something wrong?" Kaorin asked anxiously, worried that Sakaki might have detected her ulterior motives.

"Aren't they coming with us?" Sakaki replied, indicating their two petite classmates, who were still seated, presumably not noticing their departure.

"Um… er… they'll, um, be up later… I think…"

**

* * *

Irrelevant Rooftop Scene – Or is it a subplot!**

"So… Miss S-Sakaki… what music do you like… and stuff like that, hehe.… um…"

…It was rather unclear if Kaorin was actually asking a question (unless it was rhetoric, but why would you ask for someone's opinion if you didn't want an answer!), or simply muttering incoherently (in the midst of her euphoria, hahaha).

"Uh… Cruyff In The Bedroom, Kiyoharu, Bump Of Chicken, Fatima, Quruli, the pillows, Back Horn… other stuff…"

_Wow, _Kaorin mused, _she has really intriguing tastes… kind of cute!_

"Awesome! I love those bands! Um… what other things… do you like… Miss S-Sakaki?"

Kaorin, clearly, was at a loss for words.

"Other things? Uh, I like books…"

"Books? Really? What kind?"

"Cats…" Sakaki continued, disregarding Kaorin's second 'enquiry'.

"You like cats, Miss Sakaki? Um… I… I… have some kittens at home… if you want to come and visit me… some… time…"

Sakaki's previously indifferent expression was contorted into one of utter elation, and she nodded resolutely.

"This afternoon. I'll come."

* * *

**Irrelevant Rooftop Scene: Five Minutes Later**

Since Sakaki's last comment, little had been said. Kaorin was frustrated by the disconcerting silence, but she knew that she could not waste this opportunity – she would seize the initiative; _carpe diem _was a virtue practically imbedded within her (after her classics teacher, who will not be referred to by name here, repeated it to the class almost incessantly over the course of 3 hours).

"Um… Miss S-Sakaki…"

Kaorin edged closer to the denizen of her dreams, being careful not to take things too quickly – she didn't want to lose this feeling of rhapsody that overwhelmed her. Sakaki didn't hear her, ostensibly, and skimmed through a nondescript 'feline fanatic' magazine, unaware of the 'events' which were about to befall her idle right hand. Kaorin cautiously reached out, and slowly, prudently, intertwined her fingers with those of her companion, who immediately stopped what she was doing.

"Kaorin…"

* * *

**Realization**

"Er… why are we focusing on Kaorin and Sakaki? Isn't this the Chiyo/Osaka portion of the story?"

Sakako's enquiry, while reasonable, was met with a conceited glare from his colleague, who was infatuated with the former pairing.

"Who gives a shit."

* * *

Kenji's note: Haha. Not quite sure what's going on here. Expect the next two chapters to be extra long in compensation for this cheap shit... hahahaha... 


End file.
